He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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