I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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