I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
