How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize