ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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