so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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