just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
