Pappa wants mamma naked
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
