I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
