matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think my moral compass just broke
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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