Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
