we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
