no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
