Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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