I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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