that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
