Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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