pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
