so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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