I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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