Hey man sorry I got all grabby
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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