dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
