Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
