At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
