Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize