i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
