What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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