So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
