he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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