I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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