it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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