This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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