I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
