You don't have asthma, your pregnant
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
