Do vagina's smell?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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