I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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