I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize