TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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