I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
