he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
