i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
