Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
