All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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