I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
