I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
