Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
