How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
