I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
