Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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