I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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