Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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