getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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