It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize