He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
