people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
