I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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