did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
