the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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