I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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